Crashed
by gift of the gabz
Summary: Written for Jelsi4Life. What if everything you thought you knew was a lie? How do you survive? Dan's life isn't what he thought it was, living with people who feel like strangers, will he forever wish for the life he once had or accept it as it is now?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Not even the idea. Premise and plot bunny brought to you by Jelsi4Life. Characters brought to you by Cecily von Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage.**

**Set: Starts in the events of 5x24 (The Return of the Ring), spoilers up to 5x24.**

**Summary: What if everything you thought you knew was a lie? How do you survive? Dan's life isn't what he thought it was, living with people who feel like strangers, will he forever wish for the life he once had or accept it as it is now?**

**A/N - I know I shouldn't be starting a new series but I couldn't pass this one up and since I just finished my Charmed series I figured I could give it a shot. Anyway I hope you like it. Reviews appreciated :) ~ Gabz**

Dan couldn't keep his mind from wondering even as Serena wrapped her legs tighter around his waist. Instead of feeling aroused as her hair tickled his neck as she whispered into his ear, he just felt annoyed and angry. Glancing around the room, he felt his throat burn with bile as he thought about the last time Serena had been at this place. He could almost hear Nate's taunting laugh as if he were watching like Chuck had been the night of the Sheppard Wedding and the two of them were comparing his performance.

Sure over the last few years he'd come to consider Nate a close friend however there was always going to be that difference between them. Even with the shame of his father's embezzlement, Nate was the athletic, good looking if somewhat dim witted lovable dream guy. While Dan he was just the guy from Brooklyn who dreamed of being on the inside, never able to fully trust his first love since it seemed like whenever they called it quits she went running to the aforementioned dream guy. Even for that brief period of time where Nate had crashed at his loft in Brooklyn when his place was chained up Nate had still had an air about him that people fluttered to, something that prevented Dan from truly embracing what could have been an amazing friendship.

Running his hand through hair that was a little too straight and too fair he sighed, Blair's name bouncing around in his head as he thought about where she was and what she was doing. If she was with him.

Closing his eyes, he traced the soft curves in his mind, her milky white skin so soft against his lips as he cherished her. Feeling the familiar pull at the base of his spine he felt his lips quirk upwards as he watched Blair's lips part, a soundless scream slipping through her lips as she was overwhelmed by pleasure, pleasure that he knew he could bring her. There was truly something amazing about watching her like that, something that finally pushed him over the edge.

Hearing a slight sniffle, Dan opened his eyes and looked into Serena's hurt blue eyes as she stared at him, betrayal leaking through them. "You said her name."

Cocking his head to the side he ran his eyes over the woman he once claimed he loved more than life itself and realised that all that he felt when he looked at her was distain and a longing for the feelings that once were. Angry that she had sought him out and forced him out of the bubble he'd kept himself in about Blair returning to Chuck. Turning his back on her, he started fixing his clothes, not even caring enough to hide what they had done instead just wanting to get out of here as soon as possible.

As far as Dan was concerned the only thing Serena had done since she'd walked through the door twenty minutes ago was destroy the one sliver of light in his life and then proceeded to use him in her sick game to one up Blair.

Spotting the phone on the counter, he quickly scooped it into his hands, deleting the video before it could come back to haunt him. He wasn't about to star in another one of Serena's sex tapes and it amazed him that he wasn't the least bit surprised to find she'd filmed it in the first place. "I hope you're happy."

Serena cringed at Dan's tone and her mind unintentionally brought up the memory of Nate saying that to Blair just after Chuck had outed her dirty deed to Dan not even a day after they'd first met. Scowling at the boy she once and still tragically enough did love, Serena desperately fought to keep the tears at bay as she recalled Blair's parting words. "Not even close."

Only a step away from the door, Dan suddenly dropped to his knees and clutched his head in agony at the pain that shot through him. He paused briefly to wonder if this was him being smited, if somehow Blair already knew what had transpired between Serena and himself and was now punishing him. But somewhere inside of him he knew despite what everyone including Blair herself liked to believe she didn't actually have those powers.

He vaguely heard Serena calling his name as others screamed for help but within seconds there was nothing but static. His vision blurred slightly before a white spot appeared in the centre of his vision and rapidly grew to encompass his whole field of vision. Feeling his air pipe close up the last thought on his mind was Blair. And as her name slipped through his lips as he flailed around, his scream still caught in his throat, he desperately hoped she could hear him.

**A/N - And so it begins... I promise things will start to be a lot clearer by end of chapter 2 start of chapter 3. I'm not sure how long this story will be but it shouldn't be as long as my other Gossip Girl one (In Plain Sight). A million thanks to Jelsi4Life whose story idea has my mind spinning out of control with the possibilities. ~ Gabz**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Hey my lovely readers, I would apologise about the wait but due to my parent's separation and my unfortunate and unwilling participation in a minor bus accident that led to doctors telling me to rest by bumped and bruised head and wrist I didn't really have much of a choice.**

**Anyway, a bit more will be revealed in this chapter and hopefully more parts will start to make sense however I can't give it all away because where's the fun in that?**

Blair jumped in her chair as Dan's eyes shot open, staring at the ceiling but clearly not seeing it. His mouth was open in what appeared to be a silent scream as he fought against the ventilator. Not able to reach the call button, Blair moved out of the room as fast as she could, screaming for help before moving to the side to avoid the stream of medical professional's running back to his room.

Unable to face him now that he was awake, Blair looked down surprised to find her closed laptop still clutched in her hands. With a heavy heart she opened it back up and knew it was finally time. Moving the file she had been working on since this whole thing started to one of many useless folders located within a confusing mess of directories, Blair knew it was for the best. While she didn't want to remember the words contained in the document, she couldn't quite bring herself to delete it either and this was a nice compromise.

Moving back to her room, she sighed as she clutched Holly, her cabbage patch kid, to her chest. Unbeknownst to her, tears collected in her eyes before they started running down her heated face. Placing the laptop on her side table she eyed the bar above the bed with apprehension, steeling herself before she continued.

Pulling at her scraggly hair in frustration, Blair tried to calm herself before she grabbed her pillow to muffle her screams as she failed to lever herself into bed again. Finally calling upon the memory of the alter-ego she'd created for herself while she'd been trapped in this hospital, Blair pulled herself together, determined to try again. She was Blair Cornelia Waldorf after all and she'd get through this just like she would any other obstacle - with her usual bull-headed determination.

Huffing and puffing, Blair finally eased her tired body against the uncomfortable and particularly lumpy mattress. It seemed no matter how many times she tried to ignore the ball of frustration at how a task as simple as getting into bed had become an energy draining chore, it was going to just keep reforming.

Closing her eyes for a moment, Blair lost herself in the never ending sounds of the hospital as she tried to get a grip on her emotions again. Glaring at the wheelchair that had been the hospital's 'considerate gift' to her, Blair moved her eyes back to her chipped cherry red toenails - and as she had done everyday since the accident she focused all her effort on making her toes move.

Flopping back against the bed, Blair felt her heart ache again. Pulling her lifeless legs up to her chest, Blair curled into a fetal position, Holly tucked under her arm as she wondered how her life had come to turn out this way.

Scrunching her nose up to prevent her sniffles, Blair wondered if there was anyway she could ever return to being a normal sixteen year old girl. She questioned if there was any hope for her to one day get away from the wheelchair and finally as she felt the darkness of sleep creep in on her, she shamefully, selfishly wondered if all this would have been different if she had just let Dan get hit by that cab on Thanksgiving.

**A/N So... I hope you enjoyed it. Some important changes were already introduced into the storyline. A rather important one can be found on the last line, in starts to explain that instead of Dan saving Serena in the Thanksgiving yesteryear flashback of season 1, it was Blair saving Dan and the consequences were a lot more serious. Until next time stay safe, happy, relaxed etc. etc.**


	3. Chapter 3

Dan forced his fear down and tried to understand what was happening around him. Hearing the rapid beating of his heart slow as he calmed himself down, Dan took a moment to determine that he was in fact in the hospital. Straining his ears he listened for the sounds of anyone else in the room but found he was completely alone.

Just as he finished that thought, half a dozen medical personnel entered his room and began talking to each other and noting various information off the machines.

"Mr Humphrey?"

It took Dan a while to realise that the chatter had stopped and they were now looking at him expectantly. Clearing his throat he looked down in surprise wondering where the tube that had been there a minute ago disappeared to.

"Now Mr Humphrey I know you're a little confused right now but we need to ask you a few questions."

Unable to do anything but nod at this point Dan tried to focus his mind as he struggled to listen to the questions.

"What's your full name?" The soft voice was filled with compassion and Dan stared at her in confusion.

"D-Daniel Randolph Humphrey." Nodding to himself as the name flew through his mind, Dan momentarily wondered why it didn't seem quite right. Yet it was the name he'd been giving for at least the last five years. He didn't know why that time detail was so important to him but it was.

Ignoring the muttering around the room, Dan focused on the doctor who had been asking him the questions. Her hazel eyes were focused solely on him, tuning out the medical chatter of her colleagues as she made sure her patient wasn't too overwhelmed.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-one." Dan smiled wryly as he thought about the party Blair had thrown for him, it was small and perfect, especially since most of the embarrassing things his friends could think of putting in that ridiculous slideshow they all already knew anyway.

"Do you know where you are?"

Dan shook his head before answering when he saw the slight worry in her eyes. "I know I'm in a hospital just not which one."

Now genuinely smiling at him, Dr Grace Kingsley turned to the door and gestured before she started her next question. "Okay, one last question. Do you recognize these people?"

Cocking his head to the side as his doctor moved out of the way Dan tried to lift his body up to see a little better but was surprised to find that it felt like lead was lying on every inch of his body.

Pushing that thought to the side for now, he looked up and met the concern brown eyes he knew belonged to his dad but the thing that threw him more than the flashy business suit now adorning his form was the coldness mixed in with the concern.

"Dad?"

Unable to stop the smile from blooming across his face as he heard his son's voice for the first time in seven months, Rufus ignored the confusion in Dan's eyes and instead moved forward and wrapped his boy in a hug. Well as much as one can hug when one half of the hug is lying mostly immobile in a hospital bed. "Hey Dan. You have no idea how good it is to see you awake."

Smiling back at Rufus, Dan opened his mouth to say something when an obnoxious ringing echoed around the room. Dan watched as his father disappeared from the room without casting a second look back at him, barking into the phone as he did so. As he caught sight of his doctor's face he realised that this mustn't of been the first time this had happened either.

Feeling the sting of rejection, Dan willed his walls a little higher and focused on the relief in his father's voice and the glimpse of concern he'd caught even if it was only for a minute. Turning his attention to the other occupant he was surprised to find himself looking at what he would have assumed to have been a fifteen year old Serena had it not been for the somewhat familiar face that stared back at him. "Jen." While he was pleased there was no raccoon eyes in sight he was almost wishing there was as then that would have at least been a Jenny he recognised as opposed to this barbie doll clone he was staring at.

"Hey big bro." Confused that she didn't move in from the doorframe, Dan once again tried to lift himself up and felt frustration ball in his stomach as he realised he lacked the energy to do even that.

Giving up he tried to nod Jenny over but found that his body wasn't going to respond to that either. In fact it felt as if his eyes were getting heavier.

"By the way, you need a haircut." With that said, Dan watched with his mouth open as his sister turned on her heels - very tall heels at that - and left the room without so much as a goodbye.

Feeling sadness and exhaustion creeping up on him, Dan succumbed and let the pain sweep over him wondering what the hell was going on.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N It's hard when you're writing a story and you have a rough idea of where things are headed to remember that your audience doesn't know the basics yet. So hopefully this chapter should clear a few things up.**

Chuck laughed loudly as he watched Dan squirm as the hot nurse, otherwise known as Lucy, fussed over him. "Would you just chill."

Almost immediately Dan felt his body settle and frowned at how much control Chuck seemed to have over him. Ignoring the grateful look Lucy sent Chuck, Dan wondered if it was a coincidence the other boy showing up at the exact time Lucy arrived to check Dan but decided he didn't want to overthink it.

Watching as Chuck flopped into the chair next to his bed, Dan waited for Lucy to leave the room before he turned back to his best friend - and hadn't that revelation been a surprise - to wait for today's talk.

He hadn't seen his father or Jenny since he had first woken up but Chuck had been a constant visitor. He'd watched Chuck's face when Dr Kingsley had told him about Dan's memory problem or 'condition' as they'd taken to calling it. When Chuck had turned to him as if expecting Dan to tell him it was all a big joke, it had actually pained him to see the hurt flash across Chuck's face when he was unable to.

Ever since Chuck had been stopping by and telling him stories of their past. Bringing photos as aids, desperately hoping something would spark a hint of remembrance. Something that would reassure him his fifteen - now sixteen year old, apparently Dan's own birthday passed while he was in the coma - best friend was still there.

Glancing over at Dan, Chuck sighed as he noticed Dan had once again checked out of reality. It had been two weeks since he'd come out of his coma and he still hadn't remembered anything. As it was he was denying any visitors outside of his family and it was only the fact that he'd visited more often than Jenny or Rufus when Dan was in his coma that the nurses were ignoring the rule for him.

Leaning forward, Chuck rested his head on his fist, waiting to see how long it would take for Dan to return to planet Earth. Finally Dan blinked a few times and Chuck took that as his signal to continue. "I brought some of your favorite foods and figured we could get out of this room for a bit. Lucy agreed to it so long as you agree to return in a few hours and don't actually leave the hospital grounds."

Instantly feeling a rush of energy at the thought of seeing something other than the four walls of this room, Dan nodded and moved to pull back the covers.

"Dude hold up." Chuck laughed as Dan glared at him, clearly frustrated at having to waste more time here. As he held up a pair of Dan's underwear he watched as Dan's glare quickly morphed to a mortified grimace. "You might need these, given the back of those gowns have a tendency to open unexpectedly."

Snatching his boxers from Chuck's hand, Dan quickly slid them on not caring if Chuck saw anything as all he wanted was to leave. "Okay, lets go."

"He speaks!" Feigning hurt as Dan slugged him in the arm, Chuck eagerly led Dan out of the room and into the bustling hallway. "Veronica, how are you today?"

Shaking his head as Chuck paused to flirt with one of the surgical interns Veronica, Dan was surprisingly glad he'd held onto that aspect of Chuck's personality in his delusional world. Pulling Chuck away after a while he continued through the hospital.

"Do you even know where you're leading us?"

Dan frowned as he felt something trigger in his memory, some place that he could see in his mind and he was certain it was in the hospital somewhere. "Kind of."

"I'm so reassured, thank you for that." Chuck couldn't help but smile as he saw a spark of something in Dan's eyes that had been missing for the last two weeks and when his friend laughed happily at his sarcastic retort Chuck felt hope. Hope that one day Dan might get better.

A sigh of relief and bliss left Dan's lips as he found himself in the hidden garden he'd been picturing for days. The warm colours of the different flowers contrasted so brilliantly with the green leaves that he felt his heart ache at the familiarity of it. Unfortunately he had to admit it felt familiar in the sense that he was certain it came from his delusion but the fact that it was here in the real world, meant there had to be other things that crossed over and if he found them then maybe this transition would be easier.

Leading Chuck over to a patch of grass that was illuminated by the sun, Dan flopped down and closed his eyes as he let the tranquility of the place wash over him. \

When he heard Chuck shifting his weight but still not sitting down, Dan opened one eye peering up at his friend confused at his behaviour until he saw Chuck look at his pants and then down at the grass in disgust.

Hearing Dan laugh, Chuck scowled as he barked out a rough "what?"

"It's just, some things never change do they? You're still all wound up over the grass and mud stains you got on you precious white jeans when I pushed you all those years ago."

When Chuck said nothing in reply, instead almost crumpled to the ground Dan was worried he'd said something wrong as he saw the shocked look in his friend's eye. "What's wrong? What did I say?"

Not used to seeing his friend so pale, Dan rubbed Chuck's back hoping he could coax him back to using his words. "You remembered something! Something I never told you."

The next thing he knew, Dan was being wrapped up in the worlds tightest hug accompained by the feeling of Chuck's tears seeping into his shirt. Not sure what to do but knowing doing nothing would make his friend feel awkward Dan wrapped his arms around Chuck and felt a sense of familiarity fill him.

As Chuck pulled away wiping his eyes slightly unable to believe he'd just done that especially when Dan needed him to be the rock in their relationship, he was momentarily stung by the look of confusion on Dan's face until he realised it was different from the one present whenever he was flipping through the photo album. "What is it?"

"I-I just," seeing Chuck's look of encouragement, Dan took a breath of air and pushed through his anxiety. "I think we've done this before. You crying. You don't usually but I think we did this once when we were little."

Trapped between feeling terrifying anger at the memory Dan was recalling and joy at the fact that he was recalling something, Chuck froze for a moment before deciding that it wasn't fair to hold something back when Dan didn't understand why it was a sore point. "That was the time I ran away to live in the park with Lucky because Bart's new fiancée told me I'd killed my mother and that's why he hated me."

"And I found you in the tube underneath the jungle gym, then snuck you into my room and everyone thought I'd brought home a stray dog because of Lucky and they didn't realise you were there until Bart called-"

"A week later after finally realizing I wasn't around. Yeah, great dad he is." Laughing awkwardly, Chuck ruffled Dan's hair to distract him, his laugh turning genuine as he watched the scowl form on his friends lips. "Here, try these."

As fourteen or so tupperware containers were placed in front of him, Dan opened each and peered inside not seeing anything too unpleasant he quickly set about trying each of the items pleased to find that they all held a familiar quality and evoked feelings of happiness.

Lying back on the ground, Dan patted his stomach contentedly as he glanced at Chuck to find out why he was so quiet. His body shook in silent shakes of laughter as he noticed Chuck sprawled on his back, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as he slept.

Finally content enough to sense what was going on around him, Dan frowned as he sensed another person nearby. Hearing a camera tick, Dan spun around keeping his eyes pierced to find whoever was about to send a compromising picture of Chuck to Gossip Girl before he remembered what Chuck had said about that not existing in the real world.

Slowly getting up, not wanting to disturb Chuck who evidently needed a sign of Dan getting somewhat better before he'd finally relax enough to start taking care of himself instead, Dan followed the sound of the camera. Moving down a path he heard a sigh before he spotted a mess of brunette curls with an old fashioned camera in her hand and a journal in her lap.

The back of her gown had fallen open revealing pale white skin that looked silky smooth despite the large scar running teasingly down her spine. His hands itched to touch it before he realised just how creepy that was and tried to attribute it to his teenage boy hormones, though he knew it was more than that.

Moving closer he began to pick up familiarities with the young girl and the Blair he remembered but what surprised him the most was when she looked at him it wasn't the warm brown eyes he had been seeing in his dream for weeks but rather a pair of lost hazel ones that quickly filled with fear upon catching sight of him.

His words caught in his throat as he watched her desperately fight to get off the rug she was sitting on and back into her wheelchair. Taking a closer look at her, he noticed she was barefoot and her toenails were painted an electric blue that for some reason seemed all wrong. "Wait. Please."

Blair paused in her frantic movements as she heard the desperation in Dan's voice. Lowering herself back to the ground, she fought off tears choosing to look at her camera instead of at the person partially responsible for her paralysis.

Thinking back on her latest session with Dr. Roberts and how he'd handed her the 35mm camera as a replacement therapy after finally accepting that she wasn't going to write anymore, she took a deep breath not willing to break the one thing that was keeping her sane.

Blair then recalled her first session with the psychologist after the surgeon had told her they'd fixed her physical paralysis. How Dr. Roberts had told her it was mental and emotional paralysis that was preventing her recovery. That they ultimately had hope, though they wouldn't know the extent of her recovery until she started to show progress in her physical therapy.

Dan paused stuck between moving forward and staying in place as he watched the girl, who looked so much like the Blair he remembered but had none of her mannerisms, seem to shut down. A girl who'd lost the fight and fire that made him fall in love with her. A girl who given she - and Nate and Serena - hadn't shown up in any of the photo albums Chuck brought and Chuck had not mentioned them, Dan thought he'd lost to his delusion.

But now he had proof in front of him that might suggest otherwise. At the very least he may not have made them up completely.

"Blair?" Watching as the girl flinched at the sound of her own name, then sighing as she brought the camera closer to her and clutched her journal tighter in her other hand, Dan felt a deep sadness fill him. A sadness for both himself and Blair. Two lost souls.

Noticing the school books that surrounded her, Dan peered at the initials on them smirking slightly as he caught sight of a looped BW on the cover of each book. It was her! "Blair Waldorf."

The whispered name had Blair curling in on herself further as she desperately tried to find a way out of this situation. Unable to help herself Blair looked up at him and got caught in his eyes as she wondered why they looked so vacant.

Dan gasped as Blair's eyes met his and he stepped back slightly at the sadness and fury in them. An image of those same eyes filled with pain flashed in his mind as he heard a sickening crunch and the squeal of brakes. He could smell whiskey in the air and dropped to the floor clutching his head as he finally started to remember the accident that caused all this.

She'd saved him and he repaid her by putting her in a wheelchair.

Closing his eyes as he tried to block the truth from hitting him, he pulled into himself hoping he could make it stop.

Blair watched terrified as Dan seemed to break in front of her and before she could make sense of it he pulled his legs up as he sunk to the ground and rocked slightly before going completely still and staring blankly into space.

Needing to get help but knowing she couldn't leave him while he was like this, Blair angrily cursed the hospital's no phone rule. "Help! Someone please help!"

Chuck stirred as he heard someone screaming and bolted upright once he noticed Dan was no longer next to him. Running towards the yelling, he cursed as he found Dan unresponsive next to Blair fucking Waldorf.

Dropping down next to Dan, he turned his back on Blair and took Dan's face in his hands. "Dan! Come on, don't do this to me."

Getting no response he spun around, fury distorting his features as he swooped down on Blair. "What once wasn't enough for you Waldorf. Couldn't stand the fact that he was getting better when that meant that there'd never be a chance for the two of you, so you break him again." Ignoring the tears that were streaming down Blair's face as she tried to pull herself back into her chair to get away from his hateful words, Chuck kept going. "There's no taxi for you to push him in front of this time so what, you bludgeon him into submission with your camera or bore him silly with your innermost thoughts."

Sobs were now openly escaping her, her body shaking with the force of them. And she couldn't calm them enough to make him stop. It wasn't her fault then and it's not her fault now. No matter what anyone says. She knew the truth and that's all that matters, right?

"It's m-my f-fa-fault." The quietly, stuttered words were the only warning they got until Dan broke down into sobs that rivalled Blair. "I did that, she was trying to save my life and I did that."

Well maybe she wasn't the only one. Blair's thought was brief before she saw her window of opportunity with Chuck's back turned.

"No it's not your fault Dan. It was an accident." Chuck could hear the hypocrisy of his own statement but that wasn't his concern at the moment. "It wasn't your fault."

"It was though, I was drunk. I was angry and drunk and I wandered out into the street. I saw the taxi coming and did nothing. B-Blair pushed me out of the way and... and she's in a wheelchair. I did that."

Chuck pulled Dan to him as the other boy continued to sob. As Dan continued to go over and over the scene of the accident again in more detail each time, Chuck felt his guilt grow stronger. Blair had been homeschooled since the accident but that had not stopped the rumors from flying. And while Penelope had been the one to start the one that claimed Blair pushed Dan in front of the taxi because he wouldn't go out with her, Chuck hadn't done anything to stop it.

In fact the more he heard it the more he agreed with it, as even though he'd been the one to call the ambulance when everything had happened. He hadn't seen anything at all, it had happened too quickly. And that killed him. So when people asked if Penelope's rumor was true he'd just smirked never saying anything one way or the other.

Now that Dan was no longer staring blankly ahead, Chuck let himself think over the past few minutes. He paid attention to the way his words beat into a hurt and damaged girl as hard as if he'd physically punched her. It had been easier to transform his fear into anger and take it out on the person he's been blaming for the last seven months than to face the fact that Dan was not alright. And he wasn't going to be alright until he talked to Blair.

Spinning around to apologize, bile rose in Chuck's throat as he noticed she was no longer there. He may have just alienated the only chance he had to make Dan better and all he had to show for it was scattered textbooks and a drawing of a wheelchair that appeared to have been ripped out of a journal and had caught part of a trail of blood.

The latter caused his heart to catch in his throat knowing that somehow he'd broken her even more than she already was. Somehow with just his words he'd caused her to physically bleed. Holding Dan tighter, Chuck reassured himself that Blair was headed back into a hospital where people would help her and for now he had to focus his efforts on Dan.

**A/N Unfortunately, I'm really stressed at the moment trying to meet a few really important deadlines so I'm updating as fast as I can but I can't make any promises.**


End file.
